Merry Christmas!

I know, I know. I’m inconsistent. It’s been months since my last post.

I’ve been busy?

Actually, I have been busy. I finally released the memoir! Woo-hoo!

But that’s not why I’m here. I’ll dive into that later. Paperback copies are available if you’re interested, and I know you are. But I still need to put together a Kindle version and get the website in order and a bunch of other small, aggravating things. I’ll do all that sometime in January.

So, why am I here? For the only reason that matters this time of year. There’s a burning question that must be answered.

What makes a Christmas movie?

I know most of you are probably like “It’s about Christmas! Duh! You suck, Casey. Go jump off a cliff you raging asshat. Nobody likes you anyway.” I understand your thoughts and concerns, and I’m still searching for that perfect cliff, but hear me out.

Is a Christmas movie a movie about Christmas? Or is it just a movie with events that take place around Christmas? There’s a difference. A lot of people will cite a movie like “Home Alone” as their favorite Christmas flick, but “Home Alone” is not about Christmas. The events of the movie just happen to take place around Christmas. You could plug in any other holiday and the same things would happen.

So, is “Home Alone” a Christmas movie?

Now, there’s no arguing that films like “A Miracle on 34th Street” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “A Christmas Story” are definite Christmas movie classics. You could even throw “Elf” in there, though I’ve never personally seen it. But, if “Home Alone” is to be considered a Christmas movie, then I present the following others to be considered as well:

Die Hard

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

Lethal Weapon

Batman Returns

Trading Places

Edward Scissorhands

Now, I ask you, when you gather round the fire with family on Christmas day to spend quality time with one another, what do you want playing over the proceedings? Do you want George Bailey learning the true meaning of life and Christmas? Do you want Ralphie in his bunny costume? Do you want Will Ferrell acting like Will Ferrell?

Or do you want John McClane saving the denizens of Nakatomi Plaza from the vile, yet charismatic, Hans Gruber? The Dark Knight doing battle with the hideous Penguin? A guy with scissors for hands giving housewives haircuts?

I think you know the answer.

It’s always strange having a holiday in the middle of the week. For someone that gets up around 5am Monday-Friday, sleeping in on a Wednesday felt odd. In fact, I overslept and felt kind of rough upon waking up. My body just isn’t used to it. I’m typically hitting the weights or starting a run or practicing some yoga no later than 6am, not sunken into the sheets at 8am. My system was rebelling against me, and it let me know the moment I opened my eyes, sore and lethargic before I ever moved a muscle.

But I quickly recovered and had a pleasant day off. I managed a lot of reading, a trip to the grocery store for supplies, and a simple hot dog/kielbasa cookout with my parents. Those dogs were loaded down, the more the merrier. And it was quite tasty. I did find it interesting that the first thing my Mom looks at in the grocery store is price, while the first thing I look at is ingredients. Is it a generational thing? Or is it a gender thing? Maybe it’s just an individual preference. I am a self-proclaimed ingredient snob and it’s possible to avoid a lot of harmful additives if you look around, but it’s going to cost you.

Because being healthy in America is far more expensive than the alternative.

The night before, on July 3rd, a collection of co-workers and I hit up Outback Steakhouse and then a movie. I was the only man of the group, and if you’ve ever been out with a bunch of women it’s hard to get in a word edgewise. The stream of chatter is constant, unlike men who tend to let things breathe. But they were all very lovely and quite entertaining. And the food was good, grilled chicken loaded with sautéed mushrooms and bacon and cheese. And free bread! Love that free bread!

The movie, though, was another story. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was dumber than I thought capable. The acting was fine. The dinosaurs were fine. But the plot somehow managed to be more absurd than the prior film, and not in a clever way but rather asinine. No spoilers here but they make a decision at the end of this film that everyone should be shot for making, for the good of humanity.

They continue to chase the original Jurassic Park which still holds up today, twenty-five years later. I remember seeing that one in theaters in 1993, the year I turned ten. Good times.