Howdy, folks!
It’s always nice when goals are met. I completed the Kindle version of Front Porch Stories this week, had 53 different mockups made for advertising purposes, settled into a slightly different schedule I’ll be using moving forward, and I wasn’t eaten by cannibals. Solid week.
But that’s not why I’m here. I’ll be starting work on my new project come Monday, but right now it’s time to unload a few feelings of mine. These are the things on my radar. I’ve done this once before which you can check out here. Let’s get to it.
The holidays are always fun. There’s family and festivities and food. But it’s never intended to last forever. Once January hits, reality reemerges, and I have always been fine with that. Hell, I welcome it. I’ve always felt like having New Years Day off is pointless. We’re all going to spend the majority of the year working, so why are we ringing in the new year with a day off? It’s not indicative of how our time will be spent over the next twelve months. I guess it’s good for blackout drunks who need a day of recovery after New Years Eve. But that’s not me.
My issue this week is that the family and festivities have left while the food remains. Now, I love food, but I’ve had enough sugary junk over the last three weeks to last the next calendar year. And the people I work with keep adding more to the table where I eat lunch every day.
Stop it! The holidays are over! I can’t take it! My teeth hate me! My body hates me! I hate me!
Fortunately, I was able to reel it in after Tuesday. I felt like garbage. I was bloated. My skin was breaking out. I walked away and haven’t touched it since. It can rot or be thrown away or someone else can eat it. I’m done for a while. And wouldn’t you know that in only three days my body is back to normal and I feel great. Poison, man. Processed sugar is poison.
Let’s talk about the Golden Globes for a hot second. No, I don’t watch award shows. I don’t need to see overprivileged people pat themselves on the back for doing shit that doesn’t matter. I also don’t need to be told by these same people to “do better” in regards to the environment. You know that movie you just spent six months shooting? Yeah, that movie caused more of a carbon footprint in six months than I have in ten years. Also, all those private jets and gas spent to get you there aren’t helping your case. Neither are the thousand-dollar suits and dresses you wear one time. Fuck off.
I just found it hilarious that the only food made available at the event were vegan options. They’ve become so damn liberal they are now all caricatures.
I also find it hilarious that previous US presidents had chances to take down Iranian Major General Soleimani, who had been declared a terrorist threat, but declined due to possible “retaliations.” Then Trump comes along and is like “Fuck that guy. He’s a terrorist. Strike!”
By the way US politicians, enough with the fake outrage at taking down a dangerous terrorist threat. Your bullshit just makes the country look weak. Putin is over in Russia right now lying on a bearskin rug, shirtless, nibbling on a bowl of popcorn and laughing his ass off at how pathetic our elected individuals have become.
And, finally, let’s talk some playoff football! I went 2-2 on my picks last week. The Bills fell apart in the second half and the Seahawks beat an already broken Eagles team that got more broke when their quarterback, Wentz, was knocked out on a dirty ass hit that went uncalled. This week I’ve got all four home teams advancing; Niners, Ravens, Chiefs, and Packers. And I have the Chiefs and Packers in the Superbowl. We’ll see what happens.
The Saints lost the way they should have, in heartbreaking fashion. Fuck that dirtbag coach, his dirtbag team, those dirtbag fans, and his fake-nice-guy quarterback who promptly threw his teammates under the bus after the game when talking about a fumble that was his fault. You’re 40, have no arm strength, and only play your best when there’s a record to be broken. Go away, you stat whore.
And then there’s Brady. What a run. You’ve looked old for a while, but having arguably the best team builder in NFL history has covered up your warts. You’re not the greatest. You’ve never been the greatest. You never will be the greatest. Had you been drafted by anyone else you would have washed out of the league as a backup ten years ago. A pick-six is the most fitting way to end your legacy than I could have ever hoped for. I hope you do leave New England for an opportunity elsewhere. Because you will fail. Miserably.
As for the Panthers, I like the Matt Rhule hire. Time will tell. But right now, I’m optimistic about the future.
Peace out, homies! Till next time!