A Long Week

I didn’t get anything done this week!

Well, that’s not true. I didn’t get any writing done. I spent forty hours in a warehouse on my feet because it’s a crazy busy time of the year for us. And I had to somewhat pet-sit for my parents who are out of town visiting my brother before he heads off to South Korea. Well, they were really visiting his new baby. He just happens to also be there. It just turned out to not be a good week to make any progress. And that’s okay. Those weeks happen. Next week should be better. Hopefully.

I did, however, manage to finally watch Toy Story 2! I know! That’s a twenty-year-old movie! And I thought it was awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I re-watched the original about a month ago because the 4th installment came out recently and I had never seen any of the sequels, so I decided to start from the beginning, which is a classic. Toy Story 2 was hilarious and had a great story and made me miss my childhood. The toy collector antagonist reminded me of a guy that used to run a comic book shop when I was a kid, treating children’s playthings as gold. It also reminded me of myself when I collected comics and action figures, which was a very long time ago.

Toy Story 3 was also enjoyable, though much darker themed, and a fitting end for the franchise with everyone being donated to a different child. I’m curious what the 4th movie is about and if it even needed to be made.

Or do we have another Jason Bourne on our hands? Solid film, but kind of pointless. The original trilogy wrapped up the way it should. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

And that’s all I got. I was 3-1 on my playoff picks last week. How about them Titans! It would not surprise me in the least to see them beat the Chiefs, though I do not think they will. I’m still riding Kansas City and Green Bay into the Super Bowl. The 49ers are kind of a monster, but Rodgers has always been a big game quarterback.

And stop talking about how the Seahawks would have won that game if they had more time. They punted on their last drive and never got the ball back. They were frauds relying on backyard bullshit football to win games. It might work against a broken team like the Eagles, but not against a solid and healthy squad like the Packers.

Till next time! Peace out!

Things on my Radar #2

Howdy, folks!

It’s always nice when goals are met. I completed the Kindle version of Front Porch Stories this week, had 53 different mockups made for advertising purposes, settled into a slightly different schedule I’ll be using moving forward, and I wasn’t eaten by cannibals. Solid week.

But that’s not why I’m here. I’ll be starting work on my new project come Monday, but right now it’s time to unload a few feelings of mine. These are the things on my radar. I’ve done this once before which you can check out here. Let’s get to it.

The holidays are always fun. There’s family and festivities and food. But it’s never intended to last forever. Once January hits, reality reemerges, and I have always been fine with that. Hell, I welcome it. I’ve always felt like having New Years Day off is pointless. We’re all going to spend the majority of the year working, so why are we ringing in the new year with a day off? It’s not indicative of how our time will be spent over the next twelve months. I guess it’s good for blackout drunks who need a day of recovery after New Years Eve. But that’s not me.

My issue this week is that the family and festivities have left while the food remains. Now, I love food, but I’ve had enough sugary junk over the last three weeks to last the next calendar year. And the people I work with keep adding more to the table where I eat lunch every day.

Stop it! The holidays are over! I can’t take it! My teeth hate me! My body hates me! I hate me!

Fortunately, I was able to reel it in after Tuesday. I felt like garbage. I was bloated. My skin was breaking out. I walked away and haven’t touched it since. It can rot or be thrown away or someone else can eat it. I’m done for a while. And wouldn’t you know that in only three days my body is back to normal and I feel great. Poison, man. Processed sugar is poison.

Let’s talk about the Golden Globes for a hot second. No, I don’t watch award shows. I don’t need to see overprivileged people pat themselves on the back for doing shit that doesn’t matter. I also don’t need to be told by these same people to “do better” in regards to the environment. You know that movie you just spent six months shooting? Yeah, that movie caused more of a carbon footprint in six months than I have in ten years. Also, all those private jets and gas spent to get you there aren’t helping your case. Neither are the thousand-dollar suits and dresses you wear one time. Fuck off.

I just found it hilarious that the only food made available at the event were vegan options. They’ve become so damn liberal they are now all caricatures.

I also find it hilarious that previous US presidents had chances to take down Iranian Major General Soleimani, who had been declared a terrorist threat, but declined due to possible “retaliations.” Then Trump comes along and is like “Fuck that guy. He’s a terrorist. Strike!”

By the way US politicians, enough with the fake outrage at taking down a dangerous terrorist threat. Your bullshit just makes the country look weak. Putin is over in Russia right now lying on a bearskin rug, shirtless, nibbling on a bowl of popcorn and laughing his ass off at how pathetic our elected individuals have become.

And, finally, let’s talk some playoff football! I went 2-2 on my picks last week. The Bills fell apart in the second half and the Seahawks beat an already broken Eagles team that got more broke when their quarterback, Wentz, was knocked out on a dirty ass hit that went uncalled. This week I’ve got all four home teams advancing; Niners, Ravens, Chiefs, and Packers. And I have the Chiefs and Packers in the Superbowl. We’ll see what happens.

The Saints lost the way they should have, in heartbreaking fashion. Fuck that dirtbag coach, his dirtbag team, those dirtbag fans, and his fake-nice-guy quarterback who promptly threw his teammates under the bus after the game when talking about a fumble that was his fault. You’re 40, have no arm strength, and only play your best when there’s a record to be broken. Go away, you stat whore.

And then there’s Brady. What a run. You’ve looked old for a while, but having arguably the best team builder in NFL history has covered up your warts. You’re not the greatest. You’ve never been the greatest. You never will be the greatest. Had you been drafted by anyone else you would have washed out of the league as a backup ten years ago. A pick-six is the most fitting way to end your legacy than I could have ever hoped for. I hope you do leave New England for an opportunity elsewhere. Because you will fail. Miserably.

As for the Panthers, I like the Matt Rhule hire. Time will tell. But right now, I’m optimistic about the future.

Peace out, homies! Till next time!

Welcome to 2020!

Ah, 2020! A new year! New possibilities! New horizons! New disappointments! I’m ready! Let me have it! Do your worst!

I’m just kidding. Sort of. My attitude isn’t that defeatist. It’s actually not defeatist at all. I’m a borderline aggravating eternal optimist most of the time. Can it be eternal if it’s only “most of the time?” That, my friends, is the million-dollar question. I don’t have a million dollars, so I don’t have an answer. Anyways…

Happy New Year!

So, I finally published the memoir. I sure did. You didn’t read that wrong. It took longer than I anticipated, but it’s out there. And I couldn’t be prouder. It turned out worlds better than I expected. Everything from the cover to the content to the formatting turned out damn near perfect. It looks and reads like a book you would pull off the shelf at a bookstore for purchase. That’s significant progress considering my first book “Ashbrooke City” (available on Amazon) is quite amateurish in its presentation and story structure.

That means I have evolved, like Caesar in The Planet of the Apes. Looks like it’s time for me to gather a massive following, move into the woods, and destroy most of humanity with an unintentional virus I have no control over.

*Spoilers for the recent Planet of the Apes trilogy, which you should have seen already cause they are all awesome films*

And it was nice to have it available by Christmas so that family could partake in the accomplishment. That’s always nice. The feedback has been positive. I wanted it to be a fun read, and it seems it is. And I feel like everyone I wanted to get a free copy to has gotten one. So, anybody else that wants to check it out will simply have to buy it. Unless maybe you take me to a nice dinner, charm me, woo me, try to get me out of my clothes like an adult. You know, treat me like a real lady.

This week I’ll be working on putting together a Kindle version because it’s currently only available in paperback. I’m also hoping to update the website a bit. Beyond that, I’m looking to write and publish two more novels over the course of 2020. Why? Because I’m a crazy person. But I’m actually stoked about the challenge. I’m ready to dive back into writing fiction. Hopefully I can also update this blog more regularly. No promises, though.

As for today, well, it’s time for playoff football. The Panthers turned into a raging dumpster fire by the end, but I’m optimistic about the future. Time to put that mess behind me and enjoy the tournament. As for my picks:

Go Bills!

Go Titans!

Go Vikings!

Go Eagles!

And, for good measure, fuck the Saints! It had to be said.

Peace out! I shall return…

New Year Ramblings

I’m back!

I guess. Feels good. Or maybe it will soon. Eventually. Hopefully. I don’t know.

It’s been awhile. The holidays passed and there was a lot of food and a lot of time off work and a lot of napping on the couch and absolutely no writing. I did read a cool little book called “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell. It was a gift from my brother. It takes a deep dive into the world of successful people and attempts to find out exactly why they are successful. Hint: it’s not because they’re smarter and more talented than everyone else. Those things are definitely aspects that helped push them along. But it mostly stems from placement and opportunity, being born into a certain time of the world and in a certain place and having chances that most others won’t have.

It was interesting. It really should be renamed to “Life Isn’t Fair: The Book.” However, you can’t deny that they took complete advantage of the opportunities given to them, regardless of how lucky they may have been to be born into a particular situation.

Football season also wrapped up. Thank God I got to see Brady win one more ring. There’s just no better feeling than to celebrate a relatively new year by watching Tom Brady play like ass and still win another championship. If I didn’t get to experience such a thing at least one more time in my life I may have just shit, I can tell you that. There were so many new and exciting things in the NFL this year. We could have seen Mahomes slinging it around in the Super Bowl. Or the old gunslinger, Rivers, maybe finally getting over the hump.

But nope! We got to see a backup from Michigan throw check-downs to a short white guy and an oafish bro with a duh face for three hours and walk away with another victory because Cooks couldn’t haul in two touchdown passes in the biggest game of the year. Thanks NFL! Thanks Rams! I’ll never get those three hours back!

At least the Saints were sitting at home. Couldn’t have happened to a better organization. Nobody likes your dirtbag, arrogant head coach or your dirtbag, cheap-ass team. You still had a lead after the blown call and you couldn’t hold on to it. You got the ball first in overtime and you turned it over. You lost. Get over it. Hopefully this drags into next season and completely sinks you from the beginning. Or maybe that mole on Bree’s face will finally completely takeover and give us our first real-life Bond villain.

Full disclosure: I’m a Panthers fan. If Cam had stayed healthy we would have rolled into the playoffs. Not saying we would have done anything. But the field would have looked a little different.

Anyway. I think I’m done rambling. For now. I’m starting back on the memoir soon. Keep you posted!