Whoa!

Whoa!

What have I stumbled upon? This looks like the blog I used to keep. Let me wipe away some of these cobwebs…….oh that joke didn’t age well…….bad grammar everywhere………astounding unprofessionalism……….that box of pop tarts is expired. Alright then! Here we go! Clean and ready for processing!

Howdy everybody! And by “everybody” I mean the two rando’s that pop in here by accident over the next six months because their weird porn searches somehow intersected with my brand of humor. Humour? Who knows?

So, the election happened while I was gone. Some might say it’s still happening. And it’s as bad as the movie The Happening. Just kidding. Nothing is that bad. Anyway, color me somewhat shocked but not really in the way it all went down. I’m probably in the minority here, but I’m of the belief that there was rampant voter fraud on both sides, which should be unnerving but is actually quite hilarious because this country gets who it deserves.

Ask yourself this: how does a cardboard cutout with beady eyes and hair plugs get the most votes in Presidential history? And how does the tactless incumbent spewing his own specific brand of racism while dumping ketchup on his steak get the second most?

Easy. Voter fraud.

Both sides are corrupt. That’s okay. America is corrupt. Might as well enjoy this ride we were born on till it crashes into that visible mountain not too far ahead.

But can we nix the dancing on the street? Are you really celebrating a 200-year-old racist and the former DA person of color that hates people of color? What are you doing? Nothing is going to change. They’ll still be in your pocket, just a little more subtle about it.

While I’m here, let me thank the ‘rona! Good ole coronavirus! Covid-19! It was so nice of you to go away during the election and then come back. Really gave us a break there. Suddenly everyone is worried again. You didn’t seem worried while you were protesting or cutting a rug during the first week of November. Did it catch you by surprise? Again?

Not me! I was ready this time! I brought nunchuks!

It’s really amazing how pandemic’s rip through the population and get a bunch of people sick and a bunch of others in the grave. It’s almost like that’s it’s nature. Hmmmmm…..interesting.

Wearing a mask? Check! Social distancing? Check! Washing your hands? Check! People still getting infected and dying? Check!

But that’s the arrogance of not only Americans but the human race. We think we can contain something uncontainable. I can’t wait till the next President gets credit when this whole thing is over after coming into the fourth quarter of a blowout and notching a half-sack.

America!