Well hello there.

I know. It’s been over a month since my last post. I promised to be more consistent and I have, thus far, failed. Unless you spin the positive side. I have been consistently inconsistent for well over a year at this point. Double negative? Glitch in the Matrix? Rip in the space-time continuum? Who knows? I don’t know. But I’m here now. And I have news!

I’m selling my house!

If you think back to my previous post which you can find here I swapped out both my toilets because one broke and the other was just gross. They were replaced with some nice Kohler thrones. After that I was just like “fuck it, let’s sell this joint for a million dollars, these toilets are sweet!”

Not really. I’d been thinking about selling it since last year because I bought it as a foreclosure nearly seven years ago and the market has shot through the roof and I owe significantly less than what it’s valued. It makes sense to get out now and find a nicer place and have a little cash in the bank. Hopefully. If everything works out in my favor. We’ll see. I’m optimistic. Right now, Dad and I are putting in work to get the place right, trying to increase the curb appeal. It’s coming along pretty smoothly thus far, though there’s tons more work to be done. But I’ll get there eventually.

It would help if these contractors around here would actually call a person back or follow through with their intentions. It’s like they don’t want my money. How are you even making a living?

Anyways, that’s where the change of plans comes along. My original intention was to publish two books this year. That’s not going to happen. But I’ll still get one done, and it’ll be a good one. Darkly humorous and surprisingly philosophical and one hundred percent fiction. I’ve done some preliminary work, but nothing too deep. I’m excited to get lost in my head for a bit.

But until then I have a house to sell. Anybody interested? It has a fireplace. Ooooh fancy…..

Howdy, folks!

So, my toilet stopped working….

Well, it technically still works. But the plastic piece that attaches to the handle broke off, meaning I have to remove the tank lid and reach into the water to manually raise that suction cup thing that allows the water to drain and set in motion the magical process of a flush. It’s actually kind of funny. I get a pretty good laugh every time I have to do it. I couldn’t really tell you why it makes me laugh, but it does.

It may be because I can imagine a segment of people out there that this has happened to that have resigned themselves to flushing their toilet this way for the foreseeable future. No repairs. No effort. Just a “fuck it, it still works” mentality, which I am guilty of having at times. But not this time. I’m not one of those people. I plan to replace it today. I’ve never done it before, but Dad has. So, he can walk me through it. Or maybe do most of it himself. I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.

It is my toilet. And the man that does the installation gets to break it in, right? Isn’t that how these things work?

In other news, I have not started on my next project because January is crazy at work. That’s my excuse. I also needed a bit more time to recover from finishing the memoir. I also procrastinate. Whatever. I’ll get to it when I’m good and ready! Stop pressuring me! I’m only a man!

I was 6-4 in my NFL playoff predictions. Not terrible. Not great. Above .500 at least. I wanted to see the Packers win, but the matchup we get tomorrow is going to be a lot of fun. I love watching the Chiefs play. Mahomes is a video game quarterback. And the 49ers are disorienting when they get that run game going with all the speed and misdirection, and their defensive line is just nasty.

I’m rooting for the Chiefs. But the 49ers are a nightmare. Either way, should be fun.

Peace out, homies!